I have not been much inspired to blog lately. I prefer to blog about growth, novelty, progress, discoveries, creative energy and fresh ideas. There hasn't been much of any of that. Lately I have felt mired in a swamp of boredom, stagnation, frustration, brick walls, lassitude and sickness.
And then it dawned on me. It's February! That explains everything. It's the traditional nadir of our upside-down learning year. Everything is always grey and ugly in February.
I hereby give myself permission not to sweat that Fiona is not interested in Hands-On Equations anymore and rarely even touches her Singapore Math. Not to fret over Sophie's increasing interest in computer games. Not to wonder why we're two weeks from having Erin home and I can't really point to anything tangible that has come out of the increased time I've supposedly had to devote to the other three kids. Not to tear my hair out over various string ensembles that have barely rehearsed since before Christmas, or if they have, have made little apparent progress. Not to look at the ever-present stinky disintegrating carpet and the absent deck. I won't worry that Noah can't tell you the name of the notes he can play so beautifully on viola, or that Sophie has begun complaining about going to aikido. I will set aside the feeling of impending doom I get when I think about the fact that test-anxiety-prone Noah is supposed to have completed the BC Grade 7 literacy & numeracy achievement testing by the end of the month. I will not get angry and depressed about the fact that my formerly-wonderful Canon ImageClass copier/printer seems to be dead. The heaps of laundry, the cobwebby ceilings ... I won't look, and I won't feel guilty. Picky eaters, slothful slovenly children, hens that are supposed to be laying hens but are actually just layabout hens, a dog that likes to sneak to the basement and poop in dark corners, days that seem simultaneously fleeting and interminable.
It's February. It will end.