If I had a camera

If I had a camera I'd post a picture of my living room. It's spotless. Really. There are no bits of yarn scattered all over the floor. Nope, every math workbook we own is not lying in a metastasizing heap beside the hearth. Fiona has not left two pairs of tights wadded up beside the couch and there is no quilt in a heap, no whiteboard and set of markers scattered near the bookshelves. The mantel is dusted, as are the tops of the bookshelves if I could see them underneath the heaps of books and papers, and there's no unharvested laundry hanging from the airer over the hearth.

If I took a photo of the kitchen you'd see absolutely no evidence of yesterday's (Canadian) Thanksgiving mayhem. My viola would not be lying on the side counter, nor would a book on hemp bracelets be on the kneading counter. None of my houseplants show the slightest sign of drought stress, and all the recycling has been tidily removed from the counters and taken to the bins in the carport. The floor is evidently beautifully swept, and shiny clean because I have most certainly washed it since August. (I have so!!!)

If I could I'd take a photo of my kids, and you'd see that they are all clean and well-kempt. Fiona's three shades of pink and brownish-pink all match, they really do. Everyone's hair is shiny and neatly combed, especially Sophie's long straight blond mane. It is most certainly not looking anything like a string mop. Erin's pants are not way too short, you'd see that in the photo too. And Noah has had a haircut and looks ever so smart, and he is not wearing the clothes he put on two days ago after I shamed him into changing out of his concert black-and-white attire which he also wore to as pyjamas for a couple of nights. If Fiona took a picture of me you'd see me to be the epitome of personal grooming, and you'd see that it did not jump out of the shower this morning and head out to an all-day music school board meeting without managing to locate a comb or brush.

Really, truly. I'd show you the photographic evidence if I could.

I have to say that not having a camera has its advantages.